So Cold
by Wahla
Summary: Sora is being haunted, too bad he doesn’t know if it’s by a guilty conscience or by actual phantoms. Does the hero need some rescuing this time? -Sora/Riku and AkuRoku. Rating may change later-
1. Shutting Down

Summary: (After the events of KHII) Sora is being haunted, too bad he doesn't know if it's by a guilty conscience or by actual phantoms. Either way, he's sure it'll drive him to an early grave if it doesn't stop-because his luck has been bad and gradually growing dangerous. Does the hero himself need some rescuing this time? [Yaoi warning; Eventual Sora/Riku and AkuRoku if you squint. Rating may change later.]

**Standard Disclaimer: **Squeenix owns all rights~ You better be glad I don't own Kingdom Hearts, because it would be crap…

'_Blah'- Character thinking._

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**So Cold**

Chapter 1

Running. Running as hard as he could, the boy's chest fluttered as fast as his feet. It felt so great to run upon the beach in the bright moonlight. But the moon warped into an ugly darkness with a wicked glowing grin that made him and his happiness halt. _A heartless?_ No something more wicked,_ his_ _heartless_. A mirror of darkness threatened him with yellow empty eyes, nothing like his own, not blue-like the sky he represented.

Sora remained seemingly frozen upon the sand that was no longer soft beneath his feet-but a bottomless empty pit. His heartless reached forward, hands passing through his chest-Sora unable to summon the key blade and stop it- and removed a glowing heart from his chest. He felt cold as he fell into the abyss below, his eyes closing as the heartless took on a new form, suddenly Roxas's face glared down at his fast fading presence. And then nothing.

"Roxas…" Sora rasped as he sat up, the blanket weighed heavily upon him-it bothered him so much that he threw it from the bed all together. A soft whimper escaped his lips and he shook his head multiple times before gripping his hair-pulling at it. This was the first time he had seen, let alone dreamt, about Roxas since they had combined. Was his nobody finally wreaking revenge upon him for taking away his life? No it couldn't be- Roxas had complied with a smile in the end. Sora knew that he may be naive at times, but he couldn't sense any remorse in that boy's smile. Then it didn't mean anything, right? He breathed a sigh and turned his tired eyes to the window that overlooked the beach, the ocean and with a weary raise of his head- gazed at the night sky.

Sleep didn't come that night for Sora.

* * *

"Sora! You're slacking again." Kairi wailed, whacking Sora on the forehead for the third time that day. Sora let out a light hiss and rubbed the spot tenderly, she had impeccable aim, always hitting the same spot. He could feel a migraine start to rear its ugly head, why had he agreed to come fishing with them again? Oh right, because they would know something was up if he declined the invitation. Ever since he and Riku had returned to the island, they had been spending a bunch of time catching up. Also he and Riku had learned that the islands bore sweet comfort and relaxation compared back to their tedious adventure. So now, here Sora was without more than a few minutes of resting his eyes. He kept falling asleep or staring into the water distant-ignoring any and all tugs to his line. Riku had caught on, he always did, and he was giving Sora _that _look.

Sora wouldn't have noticed it if not for Kairi's interruption of his dozing; he inwardly winced at the sight and avoided his gaze quickly. He never was good at hiding his emotions, and Riku always could read him like a book.

"Kairi, lay off, Sora's just bored by fishing-what else would you expect after he defeated 'Organization Thirteen'." Riku said in a light tone, hoping to elicit a better mood from the sky boy. Kairi laughed and shook her head with a smile as Riku continued. "Perhaps you should hatch a scheme to destroy the world, maybe _then_ he'll pay attention." Kairi retorted with a complaint of some sort while shoving the silver haired boy, hoping to knock him into the water as revenge.

Sora drifted off after Riku stopped talking, the two rambunctious teens next to him pushing and shoving each other faded into the background as he focused on the water, his eyelids weighed down the more he stared. They eventually slid closed, all noise was replaced by the ocean's gentle noises, it was probably lulling him to sleep- it always had when he was a child.

He hummed lightly, trying to still convince himself that he was awake, that he had only closed his eyes. He really didn't want Kairi to smack him again. His brain whispered to his eyelids, trying to tell them to open, but his soft spoken mind couldn't be heard over the screaming his body was doing.

"Roxas…Roxas? Wake up!"

"Stop calling me Roxas!" Sora screamed as he woke up with a start, yelling in someone's face. Riku's shocked eyes looked back at him and Sora immediately realized his mistake. Teal eyes narrowed as he spoke slowly, "Sora, no one called you that. What's up with you?" Sora flailed with his reaction, stuttering a lame excuse, "I'm sorry, I was day dreaming about us… u-us saving the world, because I'm bored!" Riku gave a frown of disbelief and was about to voice it before Kairi frowned and stood up with a huff, "Sora if you really didn't want to hang out you could've of just told us."

And she walked off, her fishing pole in hand; Sora _now_ realized that _of course _she'd be upset with what he'd said, he'd never 'confirmed it' earlier when they were joking. Now he had taken it too far and she probably thought he didn't enjoy spending time together, after all the time he and Riku spent away and now that they were finally back- she might believe that he didn't care about their precious time together as friends. It wasn't true but he had certainly given the impression.

"_Sora,"_ Riku ground out as he stood, "We're talking later, don't think you can fool me." He gave Sora a stern look before trailing after Kairi to fix the conflict that Sora had created.

He bit his lip, he was certain he'd heard someone call him Roxas, maybe he was just delirious from the lack of sleep, hell he had been half asleep at the time he'd heard it…

Sora ran a hand through his hair, how'd he make such a mess over such silly things? Surely this was just an unlucky day for him. He rose from his fishing spot and left his pole lying in his place; he would go to the cave until Riku came and found him.

This cave was sacred to him, yet he was doodling on the floor, aimlessly drawing to keep his attention and thoughts focused and not elsewhere. He'd drawn the keyblade, surely it wouldn't be out of place, this was where the door had opened on the island, where he had gone and been thrust into his destiny and received the keyblade. Sora didn't like drawing things that didn't mean anything to him; he glanced up at his other drawing and nodded in agreement with himself. He sighed, Kairi…

He felt guilty now, the least he could do was apologize to her later, even if he had to make up some excuse, he'd try and make her happy. He winced; things had become so strained between him and Kairi lately, he wouldn't of thought about lying to her before, why now? Hadn't his adventures fighting the heartless and the nobodies taught him to be nobler? Why would such a positive outcome have such negative effects on him? He struck the chalk against the ground and gritted his teeth as he glared down at the floor.

Sora blinked, where had the keyblade doodle gone? He was staring down at the unrealistic drawing of two cloaked stick figures, one holding a tiny keyblade, the other holding a spiked circle. He didn't have to look twice to realize what it was. He had seen it before, _no, Roxas had seen it._ Most of Roxas's relevant memories he could recall; like this picture- it was at the meeting between his nobody and Kairi's. This was one of the many crayon drawings that had covered the blank marble walls of the mansion. It was Roxas and Axel, best friends.

"_You were never supposed to exist,"_ Her voice whispered, echoing off the walls in an eerie manner. Namine was seated before him-they were at the very mansion of his memories. _"Roxas."_ Sora blinked slowly- he turned and stared at the picture on the wall in all its crayon glory-'_the real thing'_ he thought vaguely before returning his eyes back to her, a dark feeling sunk into his stomach- realizing that it wasn't _just_ _a memory_, but that he was actually experiencing it.

Even though he tried, he couldn't break away from it, he spoke. _"What? How could you say such a thing? Even if it were true." _Roxas's voice ripped from his vocal cords.

"-its true Sora, you were a jerk back there and you need to apologize to Kairi. Don't be so dramatic about this!" Riku snapped at him, Sora blinked at him in confusion before looking around at his surroundings, he was back? Or had he been here the whole time? It seemed that he had said Roxas's exact line to Riku-who had been here talking to him for who knows how long while he was away in 'his dream world'.

"Riku." Sora spoke softly enough to make the boy relinquish his angry look and replace it with a concerned one. Sora's tone was unfamiliar and unwelcome, Riku could hear the upset dip of it and he didn't like it one bit. "I'll apologize to her, but right now I'm tired, I'm going home to take a nap. Bug me about it later…" Sora let out a soft sigh; he couldn't explain these things that were happening to him to Riku, for all he knew he was reminiscing memories that were 'new to him'. He hadn't the time to do such a thing when he went straight from combining with Roxas to fighting and finishing off the leader of the organization. He couldn't worry Riku with something that may be nothing at all! He was already stressing Riku enough; the least he could do was keep him out of his problems for once. Sora walked from the cave without another word.

Riku watched him as he left, if looks were lethal, he'd be burning holes into the back of Sora's head by now, he huffed and turned around, no longer wanting to linger on Sora's childish behavior. The floor caught his eye and he lowered himself to the floor with an unbelievable stare, he ran his hand across the drawing, a soft smear of chalk dust wiped to the side of the doodle. It was recent.

'_Namine's drawing of Roxas and Axel. How is it here? Did Sora draw it…?'_

Just when he was starting to believe that things were going to be normal, life decided to get confusing again.

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As much as Sora yearned to just go home and sleep for the rest of the day, he knew he had to do something first. Somewhere under his exhaustion and confusion from the recent odd things he'd been experiencing, his heart still managed to guilt trip him for upsetting Kairi, it wouldn't allow him to sleep until he apologized. So he was at Kairi's back door, which he knew wouldn't be locked- he really didn't want to use the locked front door just to have her slam it in his face if she didn't accept his apology- and slipped inside.

"Kairi?" He called out, trying to determine where she was, she was probably in her room on the phone with Selphie-probably telling her how mean he was. "Sora." Came the response from close by, so close actually that he jumped a little. Kairi was sitting on the couch with something in her hands, concentrating very hard at her task. Sora being the ever curious boy he was drifted over towards her to see what she was doing, he stopped short when he saw she was drawing, this was too weird.

"Y'know, Sora. I've been drawing ever since she and I became one again." Kairi said in an odd tone of voice, that frankly Sora had never heard her use. Sora perked up at hearing this; maybe she was experiencing the same things.

"O-oh, really is that it?" He asked, going over to where she was to look at the drawing, a heartless, of course she would know how to draw them-the three of them together knew what the heartless looked like-better than anyone by this point it seemed.

Kairi, half focused on what he was saying now replied, "Is that it? That's a weird question…" Kairi said in an unfocused voice, like she was trying to give him her full attention yet the drawing called her back to it each time. Maybe Kairi was experiencing things, but differently, she had taken up Namine's hobby- and seemed just about as into it as the nobody girl had been-concentrated and happy about drawing-blocking out the rest and enjoying herself. Then that meant Kairi was experiencing it positively.

Envy crept into his heart, something he wasn't really used to, but he could understand why he finally was experiencing it. If the nobodies were affecting them both, then why should he be bearing the brunt of the bad, he had fought and been a hero, where was his break? Where was his happiness now-didn't he deserve to be a little selfish and have something to enjoy being home finally! He wanted to get mad at Kairi for being so happy, but he could already feel his heartstrings tug at even thinking the thought. He couldn't do that, she deserved her happiness, but he wouldn't watch her anymore when she was like this, it made him too upset right now. Sora decided to apologize and leave before he did something against his heart's wishes.

Kairi accepted it wordlessly with a smile and nod, it was almost so alike to what Namine might've done it gave Sora déjà vu. He gave her a final wary look before leaving her house in a slight rush.

Sleep would finally bring him some peace, right?

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It had seemed he had just fallen asleep when a voice called his name again, "I swear if this is another weird dream I'm going to get the keyblade and so god help me I'll-"

Riku was sitting on the bed beside him, giving him a look that was in-between amused and confused, "You'll _what_ Sora? And what weird dreams-what're you dreaming about me?" Riku teased with his trademark smirk, one that was forever burned into his memories.

"R-riku? What, no! What do you _want _me to dream about you?" Sora retorted, half wanting to best his friend at a comeback, half wanting to get off the topic of what the dreams had been about. Riku blinked flustered slightly-which fortunately for him Sora didn't catch- before rolling his eyes and retorting, "As if!" before saying with a straight face, "Sora, be serious with me now, I wanted to talk about something."

Sora face planted into his pillow with a groan, "Nice comeback…" He muffled before sighing heavily into the fluffy thing and raising his head and sitting up, if Riku really wanted to be serious he would try and humor him. It was all he had the energy for, arguing would wear him out even more-so he complied. Riku seemed happy with his reaction and cleared his throat slight before speaking, "Sora, did you draw that picture in the cave?"

Sora felt his heart skip a beat, oh crap-he'd forgotten all about it and stormed out of the cave just leaving it there for Riku to see. He had almost thought the drawing itself to be apart of the weird memory-dream. Suppose not. He responded coyly, trying to avoid the subject directly. "Which drawing?"

Riku frowned, Sora was hesitating with him-not answering his question, but instead giving him another question in return, it was starting to tick him off, "What the hell do you think? The new one! The one that _supposedly _appeared out of no where, Sora!" He shouted at the boy, who now gave him a slight glare but kept his mouth shut, "The one you drew of Roxas and Axel. You know whose drawing it really is and how you couldn't have known about it since you've never seen it…" Riku trailed off. Sora hadn't seen it, so how would he know about it, did Roxas know about it? Is that how Sora knew? And even then, did that mean that the nobodies' coming together with their somebodies was more complex than he thought?

Sora dropped his eyes and spoke a blatant lie, "I have no idea what you're talking about Riku." He refused to tell Riku the truth about things, even if it did make his heart and stomach clench uncomfortably. Riku scowled at him and grabbed his shoulders, "Sora, now you're pissing me off." Sora winced and looked even further away from him, Riku's temper flared even more, even Sora knew that Riku could tell he was lying-he couldn't even look him in the eye! He grabbed Sora's chin and roughly forced his face to look at him. _"Sora._ What's going on? Is it really something so bad that it's making you lie to me and Kairi? _Your best friends!"_

Sora shook his head and said, "Riku, I don't know what're you're talking about, I just drew it, I didn't do anything wrong!" Tears welling up in his eyes from frustration that Riku had caught on already, he so desperately didn't want to tell Riku that he would drag this on. Riku mistook the tears for Sora being upset about the accusation. Was he wrong then? Maybe he was over-reacting about the drawing; maybe he had seen it and only thought it resembled the drawing Namine had done. Would it be that hard to draw something similar? Sora knew Roxas and Axel were best friends and being the nice person he was-perhaps the drawing was just a memorial to the two nobody best friends.

He suddenly felt guilt and another seeping feeling at the back of his head, but he ignored that for now and downcast his eyes. "I-I'm sorry Sora, I over reacted, it just made me upset, it reminded me of Namine." Riku admitted. Sora felt even worse that Riku was admitting the truth while he continued his lie, tears trailed from his eyes and a soft sob escaped his lips. Riku looked stunned and hurt, Sora's eyes widened as he realized that the silver haired boy was probably blaming himself for the tears that fell down his face. "I'm sorry..." Sora said meaning it in more ways than one, apologizing for upsetting Riku with the drawing and secretly apologizing for lying to him. _I'm sorry Riku; I'll tell you when it's all over so we can laugh and cry about it, please forgive me._

Riku returned Sora's apology with something surprising, a hug. Sora blinked away his tears and looked confused at the wisps of silver hair that were in his face, was Riku actually hugging him? Darn Riku must've really felt bad- it only made him want to cry more and he really wanted to stop because it was making Riku feel even worse.

Sora's tears dampened his thick locks where the boy's face was buried, he had never tried this before-hugging him, but it was the only thing he could think of to truly show that he was sorry-Riku wasn't a person who displayed physical affection. He eventually pulled away and gave a weary look to the boy in front of him, feeling awkward but comfortable this close to the boy-at the same time, it was a really confusing combination but he chose to ignore it as he asked, "Are you okay now?" Sora nodded and wiped his tears from his face before Riku did something else unexpected and awkward and oddly comforting…

This weird nobody business was interfering with his life, his emotions and now it seemed his _body!_

He felt so warm and hazy on the inside, _yup this was definitely confusing._

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_To be continued…_

_Phew~ So I think the first chapter was pretty decent. I hope you guys like what I have so far and stick around! Things will get tricky later on. -Evil grin-_

_Click that button below! Y'know the green one that says 'review'!_


	2. Double Sided

**Standard Disclaimer applies.**

_Here's the second installment! At first I totally wanted to be evil and wait to get more reviews before I posted this, but I didn't have it in me to be mean, after all I am making you guys wait. Thank you for the reviews, favorites and alerts! I appreciate it __**a lot.**_

_This isn't much longer than the last chapter, but I cut it off where I did so it wouldn't end awkwardly. Sorry to keep you waiting, onto the chapter._

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So Cold**

Chapter 2

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Sora slept well that night despite the days events, talking with Riku had made him really sleepy. Riku left as soon as they were done talking, probably feeling too awkward (or guilty) to stick around. Sora's head hit the pillow and he watched the sun set as, his eyes mimicking it, as he too fell into darkness.

He trickled off into a deep (and dreamless) sleep. It was then that _the figure_ took the opportunity they had been waiting for all day, for Sora to fall asleep. They had been doing the same thing for the past week, returning every night even more determined than the last time to do its task. For now-there was no other way to reach him.

A hand reached out and gently rested on the boy's face-Sora unfeeling of the touch- it's skin was pale in the moonlight that blanketed the slumbering boy, the figure winced and withdrew, before staring at the boy again. It lowered its face next to Sora's whispering something in his ear. Sora nodded softly in his sleep and the figure smiled faintly, _so it wasn't hopeless after all_- a fleeting thought came from the person before they were gone from the room completely.

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In the morning a delicious sizzling sound awoke him. Sora inhaled deeply, someone was in his kitchen cooking-the smell made his mouth water. Making his way to the kitchen in a half-awake daze, he blinked to see Riku and Kairi at the stove hard at work. "Guys?" Sora questioned them, his delicate eyebrow arching ever so slight before he took to rubbing his eyes. Perhaps he was still dreaming…

"Sora, _finally._ We were beginning to think you were dead, you usually smell the food the second it hits the pan." Riku said ruffling the boy's spikes teasingly, Kairi smiled and nodded in agreement as she returned to beating some eggs.

Sora shook his head to fix the hair that had fallen into his eyes before staring at them in disbelief, "Did I miss something? What're you guys doing?" He muttered as he stumbled over to the table where a glass of orange juice sat. He took a deep sip and started to feel the tangy citrus clear his grogginess.

Kairi turned to him with a smile, "Well we figured since you had a bad day yesterday, that we would do you a favor and start this one off right." Her eyes were genuine and concerned, very unlike the Kairi of yesterday, so they had been worried about him? He felt a small smile fall into place, he appreciated this, but made his heart clench all the same. Sora still hadn't been completely honest with them. _However_ the troubles seemed to be over, so he would just return things to normal and he wouldn't have to mention it ever again. He hoped.

Riku sat a plate down while pushing the boy into the chair that sat in front of it, "Hurry up and eat, you _wouldn't want_ to insult us by letting our hard work get cold and nasty." Kairi rolled her eyes and shushed the silverette boy with a _'be nice!'_ before retrieving two other plates to serve themselves.

Sora smiled and started to chow down, he hummed in amazement- it was pretty good. "Wow, this has a weird flavor…but I like it. A lot!" Sora remarked before shoving another pile of food into his mouth.

"Ha ha, yeah it's salty but sweet!" Riku said, a proud smile forcing its way into his voice. Sora laughed and nodded, "Yeah, that's it!" Looking up to his friend but saw someone very different.

_Axel._ Sora stared at him with wide eyes, the man's thin red eyebrows rose before saying, "What's wrong Roxas? Eat up." His deep voice remarked with attitude that _even Sora_ remembered about him.

Sora looked down at his plate, blinking his eyes _hard_, before looking back up. Axel was gone, it was just Riku. Sora smiled weakly and nodded before continuing to eat, even though his stomach was twisting uncomfortably. He finished a good portion of his meal before lightly excusing himself to the bathroom, no one questioned it. Sora was glad, because inwardly he was freaking out, again.

His hand touched the cold marble of the counter as he stared down at the sink, one hand rising to turn on the cold water full blast. He propped himself up on his elbows and violently splashed the water up into his face, almost to point where he couldn't breathe. He finally stopped- his chest heaving and his face stinging from the cold. It wasn't over, this _thing_ that was happening to him- whatever it was. Sora shook his head, the water droplets dripping from his spiky locks as he stared into the mirror. He needed to compose himself, he looked like a mess. The cold water had done nothing more than make him even paler than he already was.

What was happening to him and where was the Sora-the hero that everyone knew so well? _The champion with the goofy smile._ Right now Sora didn't know where this hero had gone, why hadn't he gathered the pieces of his courage and held onto them tightly? Before he knew it they had slipped through the cracks and far away from him. This wasn't how a hero handled things, but Sora had a feeling the keyblade wouldn't be able to fight this-_this possible insanity._ Really he didn't know what to call it- _it was confusing_. It blurred the lines of reality and fantasy- he had no idea where one began and the other ended and that's what scared him.

_Did the hero always get a happy ending?_ Sora started to wonder, had his adventures and battles stolen his sanity from him? He lost his heart and it was returned to him, he lost his memories and it was returned to him. Now he was losing his mind, would it be returned as well? Or had he used up all his chances? Did being a hero come with a heavier price-something worse than what he'd already been through?

A soft knock at the door alerted him that he was still in the bathroom; he pushed the questions away and replied, "Yeah?" as he grabbed a towel from a nearby rack and rubbing his face dry, and hoped that the firm rubbing would return some color to his face. The last thing he needed was to have those two worry about him again, the guilt would surely kill him before whatever was happening now would.

"Are you to stay in there all day? Kairi and I think we should go…explore. That sounds fun, right?" Riku's muffled voice said through the wood of the door. Sora unlocked the door, blinking when realizing that Riku had been literally up against the door. He regained his composure before responding in a chipper tone.

"Ha, yeah! Sounds perfect, things must've changed since we've been gone." Sora said, his tone half fake, he did admit he wanted to do something to keep his mind off the impending questions. Riku smiled seeing his friend's familiar attitude; that was more like the Sora he knew. Riku drifted ahead to go tell Kairi that they were leaving, a bright smile illuminated her face and relief flooded her eyes. Sora's expression softened, it was better if his friends thought he was okay. They had all been through so much; he didn't need to bring more trouble-especially since everything had just started settling down. Yes, they deserved better, if not himself, _they did._ He nodded his head in a silent agreement with himself.

There were more houses than he remembered; he thought as they passed from society to the quite tropical escapement of nature, which had been preserved-and more than anything else, had grown wilder. Kairi led the way this time; she was more familiar with the changes than they were. She knew where she was going-unlike Sora who thought this particular thicket of trees and the exotic plants that surrounded them were completely unfamiliar. _Had it been that long?_ Sora thought as he took it all in. Kairi giggled from the lead of the group, "Sora you should close your mouth before you start catching flies."

Sora flushed, had he been that obvious? "It's been a while." He half whined half whispered. Riku chuckled lowly in front of him and shook his head, all while pushing a large leaf out of the way. Sora protested at the laughs and comments that were being sent his way and forgot to catch the large plant before it whacked him in the face, he spluttered from the waxy taste and the shock from the smack. Riku let out a _real_ laugh as he looked back to the very flustered boy.

"Sora, as clumsy as ever- how'd you save the world again?" Riku said with a smirk, an eyebrow also arched-his familiar teasing fashion. "Hey, you helped too Riku…" Kairi reminded him and Riku chuckled again, "You're not _helping_ his case Kairi."

Sora rolled his eyes and walked past his best friends. "Yeah and I see you're definition of 'nice' is _still_ warped." Kairi let out a small giggle as Riku huffed in return and marched ahead to catch up with Sora and challenge him for the lead of their adventure. The two of them goofed around before it ended up with the two of them wearing out-lying on the dry parts of sand while Kairi gathered seashells for the two of them.

"Did you ever think we'd get another chance like this-to look up at this sky again?" Riku asked in a soft nostalgic tone. This made Sora look at him, something about his voice made him yearn to see the look on his face. A peaceful glaze had settled on the boy who had once belonged to the darkness, Sora smiled softly. It felt good to see Riku happy again. He would agree that out of all of them, Riku had suffered the most-but he came through strong. Riku glanced over catching Sora's gaze, "What?" he asked with a slight twitch to his lip, trying to figure out the look Sora was giving him.

Sora closed his eyes and smiled brightly, "No, I was just thinking about how every time I saw you _during all of it_; I thought it would be the last time. Looks like I got another chance too." Sora said truthfully, Riku stared at him surprised before leaning over and lightly pushing the boy.

"_Jeez Sora_, I missed you too but you don't have to be all gooey about it." Riku said turning his face away from the boy, but Sora could see the smile that crept onto his face. He mirrored the genuine smile in response. _Same old Riku.  
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* * *

They walked barefoot across the damp sand, squishing comfortably under their toes as the cold blue waves brushed and washed over their feet. Light laughs and a familiar conversation engaged between the three of them, it had been a good day Sora admitted to himself.

He looked out over to the familiar curved tree that the three of them had deemed one of their favorite spots. He ran full out, past the two of them, shocking them momentarily before they burst into a run as well, taking off after him-knowing where and why he was going.

Sora tumbled onto the trunk with loose laughter as Riku collapsed next to him, not being far behind. Kairi came up panting and laughing at the same time, "You two always leave me in the dust, _jerks_." She poked playfully. They laughed until the sunset overwhelmed them, the silence only allowing the comforting hiss of the sea.

"Remember the first sunset?" Kairi reminisced-something she had been doing more than often since their return. Sora wondered sometimes if she was trying to make them feel bad for leaving or just stitch together what they had before things went a wry.

"Whatcha mean Kairi? We didn't share our first sunset together. Actually…I don't really remember my first sunset." Sora quipped innocently, trying to choose his words carefully to avoid upsetting his female friend. Kairi laughed and he visibly relaxed.

"No dummy, the one we watched when you guys got back." Sora instantly tensed, she was mentioning 'their return' _again_, and it was making him feel guilty. Surely she wasn't doing it on purpose, right? Sora felt unsure about the answer and he really wanted to change the subject; thank god Riku did it for him.

"You're wrong; it's the _place_ that's special." Riku insisted as he waved his hand at the papou tree they were sitting on. Kairi tilted her head toward Riku, inquisitive. "C'mon, did you really watch _the sunset_ when we got back?" The silver hair boy said, though it sounded more like a statement rather than a question. Kairi flushed and she looked away, raising a hand to suppress a nervous giggle, "I suppose not…" She drifted off.

Riku laughed and leaned back, looking up at Sora who sat on the higher part of the curved tree, "You hear that Sora? She forgot all about our favorite place." Kairi squeaked an excuse in the background, but Sora ignored it- he had become dazed from looking Riku right in the eye, why hadn't he paid more attention before? They looked so beautiful when he laughed and the color reminded of the ocean. Sora blushed right up to his ears, tearing his gaze away and looking away completely-just in time too, or else he would've caught Kairi's sly smile as she watched the exchange. She had a plan.

"I remember! We came here every day as kids;I remember when papou weren't as scarce-when they grew in this very tree_._" She said giggling; both men formed an awkward expression. Kairi rolled her eyes, a small smirk spreading across her face, "Calm down, I'm just teasing- _but _since we're already on the subject, I'd like to ask you two a question." The two men narrowed their eyes suspiciously at the redhead; she was up to no good.

However neither man had it in them to back down, so they agreed to hear her question. You'd think they would've learned by now.

"Who do you want to give a papou fruit too? And _don't _say me- we're practically brother and sister and you've both already had crushes on me-so it _doesn't_ count." Kairi said, throwing in the last quip to make things harder for them. Riku and Sora balked, both doing their best imitation of a fish out of water before Riku cleared his throat.

"Kairi, do you really think we've had time to fall in love? We haven't been back that long, and the papou is a fruit you give to someone you want your destiny to entwined with and I'm just not ready for such commitment and-" He insisted before Kairi waved off his excuses with a raise of her hand (and a roll of her eyes if Sora had seen correctly.)

Kairi wasn't fooled so easily.

"Yeah, okay, sure. _Let me be more specific then_. Who do you two have a crush on? Same rules apply."

Sora pursed his lips thoughtfully, he really didn't know, well off the top of his head. He thought about all the women he'd met and still came up with a blank. Sure he could've just told her an old flame's name. Like herself or Namine, but he no longer held any romantic feelings for either of them, they were both like sisters and it wouldn't feel right to say either one of them. Great _now_ he felt like telling the truth?

He thought a little harder, well if he couldn't come up with girl's names…

Sora was an open kind of guy, he didn't mind anyone who was gay; actually he was pretty sure his nobody was in love with his own best friend, Axel- so would it be wrong just to see if he had any feelings for a guy, since he hadn't for any girls?

That's when the thought hit him, Roxas loved Axel, they were best friends and their feelings had escalated. Could Sora have feelings for…Riku?

He thought about it. He cared deeply for Riku, but was he in love with him? He loved Riku, but was he in love with him? Something in his heart answered and he slowly dragged his gaze to the teal eyed boy. Did he really? He bit his lip out of habit; he'd always abuse it when he was alone with his thoughts and his worries.

"I don't know." Sora answered, his voice wavering slightly, they had no idea what conflict was raging between his heart and his mind. He felt something for the boy, but his brain said it was wrong. Why was it wrong? He felt no conflict about Roxas's feelings for Axel, so why did this bother him?

It was him, not Roxas-that's why. It was his feelings and his life. He didn't know if he wanted to face the fact that he may have feelings for his best friend. Worst of all…

He didn't want to be rejected.

* * *

Sora had almost forgotten; thoughts of his best friend had completely distracted him from…this. He still didn't know what to call it; he had collapsed on his way home- visions of Roxas and Axel had plagued him- happy, laughing, and loving. It made him sick and jealous; he hated it. What was he becoming?

Sora wasn't perfect or innocent, but he was supposed to be 'above such heinous feelings', were good people supposed to have these feelings? Were hero's allowed to feel this way? Was he not still human? A mental shake of his head and squeeze of his heart told him otherwise and no amount of excuses could remove the guilt that weighed over his heart like a rain cloud. He released a deep sigh, as if to relieve the heavy feelings in his chest, but only sighed deeper when no relief came.

He had somehow made it to his house without breaking down into tears, his heart tugging painfully trying to tell him the answer to all his problems, but his brain stubbornly held onto the issues, replaying them.

Sora hissed softly to himself, a headache eating away at him as he tried desperately to sort out his issues. He needed relief _now,_ even if that relief had to be through medicine. Rummaging through the cabinets of his bathroom he came upon two bottles, either would help just fine. Sora opened it, accidentally breaking the cap in his haste, and as carefully as he could read the correct dosage, the last thing he needed was to overdose. He swallowed the pill with ease and made his way to the shower, turning the hot water on full blast before stepping under the spray.

* * *

"Shit! Why is he in the shower? He could've drowned!" A male voice supposedly yelled, but it only came as a whisper to Sora. Everything sounded fuzzy, and he couldn't see.

"Well, I _thought_ he was going to bed, why else would I make him take them?" Another male responded; neither voice was Riku-who was the only guy on the island with a key to his house.

"Then why didn't you _make him_ go to bed?" The other voice hissed in return, angry and panicked. "I can't make him do that and you know it. Calm down, he's not going to drown! He's taking a shower, not a bath; the drain isn't even blocked, retard..." The younger voice replied as the fuzziness started to clear a bit; Sora could make out colors and blobs. He saw green bearing down at him, worried and angry green.

"You can't blame me for being worried, if-" The words starting cutting out as if he was on a phone with bad connection. "-then…lose everything!" The older voice cut back in and the younger voice hissed a profanity, "He's waking up." It said.

The older voice cursed as well and sighed, "Next time then."

"Love you." Sora whispered and his eyes shot open. He was lying on his back, cold water hitting his chest from the shower head above. Sitting up he realized he had collapsed in the shower. What had he taken? He stood slowly, his body feeling slightly numb from the cold water.

Sora blinked his eyes several times before things started to take the right shape. Squinting he lifted the bottle with the broken cap, a complicated name greeted him and he let out a frustrated sigh and turned the bottle around several times. His eyes focused in and read what he needed to see. Sleeping pills, had he really taken this? He certainly wouldn't of gotten into the shower if he'd know, frowning he threw the bottle into the trash.

How weird.

_To be continued…_

_

* * *

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I figured I'd end it at this, so I wouldn't leave you guys with too big of a cliff hanger. So some weird things happened, I added some hints at the plot. I like to keep you guys guessing._ ;3

_Now for some notes about the chapter, sorry it took so long, I wasn't completely happy about the first version of this chapter, so I went and tore it apart and built on it, the transitions are much smoother now so I'm glad I waited, I'd rather give you guys quality over sooner updates._

_Oh, oh! Random fact: I wrote most of this at the wee hours of the morning-while listening to some techno music. It inspired me to write for some reason, its weird because I don't __**love**__ techno._

_Now I'm rambling. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter! Also reviews are very helpful, so help me out and leave one. ;)_


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